Princess Aurora vs Princess Leia vs The Simpsons

I watched The Simpsons last night for the first time in forever. I don't think I've watched a new episode in years. I do, in fact, take the show for granted (as was pointed out in the documentary that followed the big 450) like running water or the non-existent Berlin Wall. I figure I'll see them in syndication eventually. Last night's episode saw Krusty having to include a princess in his show in order to increase his female viewership (see it here, it's totally worth it). Poor Lisa is completely swept up by the hysteria ("I agree it's cliche, but she does have a certain ... UNICORN!"). They even got the merchandising glut down. But, most hysterically, Princess Penelope's literal songs about being a princess: Example: Where does Princess Penelope keep that special thing that makes her a princess? "It's the part of me that wants to be the person that everyone flatters!"

This line made me laugh the uncomfortable laugh of a mom whose daughter is obsessed with princesses. It's strange, because I don't really know how it happened. Like many things that happen when you're a parent, this one sneaked up on me. One day at the store, she lost her mind and desperately had to have a set of princess pajamas. And then it was shoes. And then it was EVERYTHING ELSE. For those of your who are living under a rock (I'm looking at you, little brother), Disney has stumbled upon another way to print money by marketing anything and everything under the sun brandishing one or more of the Disney princesses (Ariel, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Cinderella, Jasmine). They now have their own new stories and movies, and shoes, and backpacks, and stickers, and shirt, and dresses, and, and, and.

While my daughter owns just about everything "Princess" (soup included), she isn't really interested in any of the "princess" movies. She doesn't like Aladdin, never got into Beauty and the Beast (no matter how hard I thrust both of these movies on her), and only got Sleepy Beauty and Snow White within the past six months (this obsession is coming up on a year or more). The only movie she really likes out of this collection is The Little Mermaid, but mostly because it takes place with fish. She was, for a period, obsessed with Finding Nemo. But she put two and two together pretty quickly (pink+sparkles+crowns=PRINCESS!!!!)

The song mentioned above closes with the line: "Because in her heart a princess knows she is the only girl who matters!" And this is the one thing that really bothers me about the princess phenomenon, especially in it's modern incarnation (and perhaps historical one, too; I'm an English PhD, not a history one). It's not the crass commercialism, or the pink sparkles, or the celebration of aristocracy and all that it implies, it's the princess as Paris Hilton (which of course is a combination of all of that and more). Later it is revealed that Princess Penelope is from Long Island (accent included), and she didn't have many friends growing up because, "I was more beautiful and friendly than everyone else." Upon first viewing I laughed, but it's that line that has kept me up at night (seriously) and has delayed this post. It's not just the entitlement/fame for being rich, it's the Jersey Shore nature of female relationships. If you want to be popular, you need to be mean, selfish and stuck-up.

Now I'm not saying that Disney Princesses promote that attitude; if anything, the main criticism about the old-school Disney Princesses is that they were too passive (Sleeping Beauty), too generous (Snow White sweeping in to care for the dwarfs), or too submissive (Cinderella). Thinking about it, you could make the argument that Ariel would fit into the selfish, spoiled brat category. I keep trying to find a "but," but I can't. I haven't seen The Princess and the Frog yet, so I can't judge, but in making their princesses more self-sufficient, they perhaps inadvertently made them more selfish all around. Plus, as my daughter is two, the last thing she needs are role-models that teach her to be more selfish.

At one point on The SImpsons, Lisa's class was doing presentations on Inspirational Women. There were 15 Princess Diana's, 1 Princess Anne (Lisa, of course), 2 Baby Princess Ingrid Alexandra of Norway. Only Ralph seemed to understand the purpose of the exercise (accidentally, of course) when he chose Princess Leia. Now there's a princess I can get behind. She sacrifices her own safety for the good of the Rebel Alliance, falls in love with a rogue (whom she rescues), and just generally kicks ass. I think I need to pull out Star Wars.